Left Drained
by Teh Rave
Summary: Seto's thinking about a certain other duelist, and gets a little...ano...just read and judge for yourself! sighs the OOCness of the way he talks is KILLING me, but hey I couldn't resist. SetoxYami.


Rave: yeah yeah, a drabble fic to blow off some steam after a rough day. It's fluff and there's no plot or point at all. Just read and enjoy. I'm not expecting very many reviews for this, but a friend challenged me to write something like this, so here it is. I don't own a single thread of Seto's trenchcoat.

**

* * *

Title: Left Drained**

**Rating: **PG-13

**Pairings: **read and find out!

* * *

Your fingers glide effortlessly to your deck. Beautiful, flawless ivory that would be defiled by my unworthy touch as I caress you and hold you. Your hands on my back, your legs tangled with mine is more than I can fathom. How has it come to this? A simple duel is now a battlefield drawn by fate. The fate that binds you and I lies beneath layers of self-loathing and mistrust. Those slender fingers grasping a card as their last hope. I can almost feel your triumph when you use it against me. That same triumph of a battle fought between lovers in a bedroom. Those same fingers grasping my hips and other parts of me that haven't been explored by such experienced hands before. 

Oh how I love teasing you and countering your attack. Seeing that familiar glimmer in your crimson eyes only gives me reason to push on. I duel to win; that gaze is my prize. In that gaze is an intensity that pierces through even the thickest parts of confusion- it's enough to make any man shiver. That look in your eyes I know is meant only for me, and it sees what lies beneath a cold exterior, and through my very heart. I can feel your eyes on my body, and wonder if you can see through my clothes. I wouldn't mind that one bit.

If only you knew what you are giving me. You are gracing me with a smirk; those lips I crave so much curling into a self-assured display of confidence. You're so certain you've got the upper hand, but I can see you bite your bottom lip when I suddenly play an unexpected move. I would give those lips something to do: divide and do battle within.

I look even further into your heart that holds a nameless past in a secret enigma, and I see a broken soul beyond that confident attitude mistaken for arrogance. In this fight, you and I both know you've won. Your battle-weary spirit is weakening, yet you carry on as if it were nothing more than a brush off the shoulder. And what further proof is there than in the very body I long to claim as mine? Tall broad shoulders that bear so many burdens. Would I carry them for you if it meant sacrifice?

I'd love to carry you- away to a place without troubles. Deep inside my heart. Ra, if you knew what I want from you, you would despise me and reject me. Not like I haven't hated before; I'm all about hate. And I hated you because I wanted to be like you; having time to care about other things. The closest friend I ever had was my computer. Now I understand it all. I hated you because I knew I couldn't be like you were. That was when I realised that I loved you. I love you more than you see when I insult the cheer-leading squad on the sidelines, when I defy the power of fate…When I deny fate, I deny feelings for you, because Fate lent a hand in me dueling you.

Why am I never satisfied with just defeating you and walking away proud?

Why do I keep trying?

Why I have lost to you more than once?

Because it is not a matter of skill, but a sacrifice to feed a strange, twisted desire that keeps me coming back for more. When Yuugi duels, he is courageous, but comes to an emotional standstill when faced with a conflict. Like when I forced his hand in Duelist Kingdom. You would stop at nothing to win, and it was that determination; that powerful force that made you want me so badly that you would take a risk. That was the Yugi I wanted to duel. I didn't want to think of dueling as a second nature, but as a challenge to keep me on my toes through the entire battle.

You're so unpredictable, I can never figure you out. At a glance you're just like Yuugi: courageous and unfaltering in your belief of the "heart of the cards". But I turn away, look back, and you're pushing your own limits as well as my self-control. I like to be in control- always have, but when you're in the lead by 700 Life Points, I can't stand it. I have to bring myself up to your standards, or else I'd never earn another chance at dueling you again. Hopeless as it sounds, it's exactly this, and nothing less that draws me to you like a moth to a light. Or is it gravity; an indescribable, unavoidable force that won't let you and I leave each other?

Your arms are what I dream of. I dream of your arms growing into wings, and flying the two of us far away from here. Away from school, away from Kaiba Corp. Away from reality.

But I'm already so out-of touch with Reality, I haven't spoken to it in months. Yes, months- that's how long I've been in love with you. But I feel like I've known you forever. Since the day I recognised my own existence.

But you are the reason I exist. Were it not for you, I would be dead.

Depression hit me years ago, and never fully left my life. Because then, all my life meant was an endless line of computers, business meetings, duel monsters, and a black hole of nothingness; a darkness I kept pushing away from me. The more I pushed it away, the bigger it became. The darkness came with Gozaburo, and for years I was being pushed to extremes to be the best of the best; striving for perfection by whatever means necessary. But I didn't want to be the best. I wanted to be myself. And I am definitely not the embodiment of perfection, despite what many women think of me. I am far from perfect in my own eyes. Not that I'm willing to admit that to anyone but you.

I know your name means "darkness", and that's what my life was. But isn't the darkness a good thing when you want to hide from your deepest, innermost fears as a child? The child inside me had nowhere to run. I'm running out of closets to hide him in from the world. I think he's ready to come out, and be with you. I'll come out to everybody to show you how I feel. Someday they will understand the magnetism between you and I.

Someday you'll understand that it is because of you that I duel. I need your challenging stare, your stern voice, I want to hear the clash of metal against metal again. Maybe I'm a masochist if I like losing to you so much. But even when I lose, I still win.

Declare your attack. Destroy my life points. I will be left drained, but grateful.

* * *

Rave: Okay, that drabble needed to be released somehow. (shakes head sadly): But if ya liked it, please review! Unlike my other fics, I'd prefer not to have flames for this one, because I wrote this so long ago when I was feeling very angry at everything. 

Flamers: Damn you! Now we don't have a job. -.-

Rave: oh yes, and please chekc out my profile and read at the very bottom; I had a crazy idea one night, and I wanna see who'd wanna do it. Please let me know if you're interested by emailing me (the address is there).


End file.
